If only..

IF ONLY..

From Fathers home-

I came encased in silk and décor

And with me came all that you commanded

And more...

Hoarded together and brought to your door-

Much ahead of the palanquin that bore me

Awaiting welcome from the insatiable thee.

Greedy eyed, you examined the harbinger

If Only, you had the same greed for me!

It took you not much time,

To confine me within, your wife!

To chain my heart

To tangle myself

Did you promise me a good life?

Seeing the world dancing around me

My world seemed an unfilled blow

Just when you planted in me

My life became glee!

I only thought so!

Carting inside was Your little heir in my fatigued, voided womb

Under merciless wilt

But blessed by The Almighty’s Tomb

And then he came..

My little one..

I watched in silenced anguish

The joy overshadowed by reservations

The cry unheard,

The smile ignored

Inhibitions

And when I Rose...

All I was...

Punished appropriately for the Love unconditional

Punished appropriately for the years I served

Punished for I could not give you more

More and more and so much more

For no more gifts were left to be sent from my father’s home

“Will you stand by me?” Said I

“For All the Times I have“

Walked Away you! With a Closed Eye!

If only you knew,

If only you held

My hand,

If Only you loved my soul

If Only you made it easy,

I would have been one.

Now, you deserve naught –none!

For here I Lie,

With a wound so deep

A scar far-healed

But with my little ones hand in his sleep.

I whisper in his ear –

Together we will make it through

Unlearn all that passed

Yes! Through all!! White and Blue!

I fear Allah!

Beware of the dua (prayer) of the one who has been wronged and the tears of the one who has been deprived.

Patience!

Patience..

Change..

Sometimes I think... how it feels when everybody around you are asking you to change and not doing their bit of changing.. I really think do they know how difficult it is to even "think" of that change to come over... They Dont!! Because they have seldom applied the concept of change on their own selves!!
After All.. Allah Says in the Holy Quran... "Allah does not change His grace until people first change what is in their hearts" (8:53)

O Allah, make me better than what they think of me, and forgive me for what they do not know about me, and do not take me to account for what they say about me.