I love You !! Oh Water.. You changed my life in a way you dint change any other !!

Fear !!
This was one word which dominated my childhood. Water being the most important part of our life was a day to day fight for me as I had to face this trauma every time I used the loo or drank a big glass of water!
Yes !! I was told by our family doctor that I was a victim of Aqua-phobia.
A big dark man with a blue eyes !! This was my sight constantly when I took a few extra seconds to drink a mug full of water..
Having a bath required both my Mom and Dad stand next to me as if I am going to the podium and giving a speech and require constant motivation and backing.
Seeing my mother cry for me shattered me even afterI grew 15 years old.
Slowly, the phobia turned into a big obstacle in my life as my biggest supporters , my parents, gave up on me which was very very obvious because of the fact that this was a very obnoxious, unmanageable health concern.
Time passed by.. and this fear tried to bury itself inside me as my conscience did not allow me to bother my parents any more.
Having a bath required all the lights being switched on even in the greatest of sunlight..and not locking the bath door often resulting in numerous dilemmas. A bucket of water frightened me forever. I had no way out!! Time and again, I lost a lot of my friends because of this unsaid crisis in my life.
The most inevitable time in a woman's life is her marriage!! This was the time I panicked the most regarding my secret malady. I spent sleepless nights imagining the mockery I might have to go through when I would disclose my phobia to my husband.
The day I opened my heart out to my loving husband who is an adventure lover was one of those days when we were in The Havelock Islands(which was definitely not my choice for obvious reasons) for our honeymoon.. but I definitely could not do any thing about it..
My husband heard me patiently and took me to the place where there was nothing!! But Water.. It was the Radhanagar beach which had waited.. for 27 long years to let me come and flow out all my fear into its never ending waters..
My husband held the water in his hand and let it go.. and made me do the same just made me feel like how I wasted my 27 years behind this imaginary fear which just could not even stay in a persons hand for a few seconds.. It stayed my whole life!!!

That moment changed my life and how... My husband took me for a wonderful under-water diving session for 20 minutes along with a professional diver and that's when I realized that it was not a fear of water.. It was fear of imagination which had ruined my childhood, my teenage.. but here I was... living every lost moment, every given up second..

Here is one picture I feel deserves a look!!

(Picture Courtesy: my Camera- head held high!!!)
PS: Please look at my husbands face more proud than me!! :)

Please click on this link https://www.facebook.com/mountaindewindia  for more such stories!!

Mountain Dew Film - Akhil Akkineni goes beyond fear - AD

FEVISTRUCK!!!

Early young days.. where school was nothing more than innocence and home was nothing more than a trail and error station.. I had this fad for Straight...Lonnggg Hair..

Every time Zeenat Aman came on the TV Screen, I would wonder what made God be so kind to her and present her with such beautiful locks and not me!

My astonishment slowly turned to envy and that's when I decided I would challenge God this time and turn my "Ugly Springy Braid" to a bunch of "Lovely Tresses"

That's when I teamed up with a "Yo" classmate of mine and stepped into a salon for the first time ever since I was born and gazed at women with Colorful faces!

Just when my world of Imagination was sprouting up, I had to rush out of the salon as the same world of Imagination came crashing down when I found my own aunt sitting on one of those chairs !

Fearing I would be complained about to my mom for stepping into "Adult Zone", I gave up on my reverie of long hair.. But just when I was running out of the Salon, I bumped into an image which gave birth to my boundless horizon of trail and error methods of Hair-Straightening!

All I saw was something like this..

And, there I flew! into this world where I mistook the hair-coloring process(which I obviously realized years later) to a hair-straightening process!

And, Home I Came! 

I took the foil roll (historically which was only used until now in our sandwich boxes), cut it into small rectangular boxes and applied some (Ahem-Ahem..) fevicol to the edges and took small portions of my washed and combed tresses and "stuck" my hair to the foil and neatly folded the same on the upper sides. So that, "It Remains the same once dry". I did the entire procedure for all my hair and used most of the fevicol as my greed increased with time.I took a whole 4 hours and not only did I end up with completely damaged "glued" hair(although they did STAND straight!) but also with sore painful arms which were doing all the hard work without rest.

End Result: NO Hair! As, my scalp was in a complete mess I was rescued by my petrified Mother who later had to take me to the same salon for a Complete Make-Over ! (Hope you got my Point!)

Moral of the Story: Please don't trade-off some OK-looking hair for Straighter Hair as you might just land up with NO HAIR!

Your beauty is defined by the One sitting up there... Don't Finger it!!

This post is in response towards the contest "The Straight Hair Experiment" on IndiBlogger

Allah is waiting to help me..

Remembering Past Trials, a humbling experience.

A wise person always takes lessons from the past hardships and afflictions and learns from his or her experiences. It is the realization of the situation that makes the person more humble and appreciate the blessings of Allah(swt); for instance good times, health, youth, past friends, deceased family members, poverty, wealth etc. With every trial and difficulty Allah (swt) tests us; we should make the experience a source of wisdom and understanding making us more humble and sincere Muslims. We must learn to recall our past and always remain conscious of the fact that life is short and we will soon return to Allah (swt). It is always Allah that listens to our distress and makes it better. The Prophet (Pbuh) said that remembering past trials can even earn us rewards....

Prayer and our steadfastness for prayer

....

..Soon after witnessing this reality, the Holy Rasulullah Muhammad received the Divine Order from His Sustainer concerning the five daily prayers, which is necessary for his community's salvation. Up until that moment, only the morning and night prayers were obligatory to be performed and therefore people were only practising the morning and night prayers.

As already explained before, the prayers were prescribed fifty times a day in the past, but later on, this figure has dropped to only five times a day.

Now, let us pay attention here. If somebody cannot pray five times a day, does that give him the right to never do it?

This is not only a false belief, but is also completely wrong.

If you cannot perform prayers five times a day, then at least try to perform them four times or twice or maybe even once a day! Do as much as you can.

But, the most important thing is that performing these prayers is essential, even if this is only done once a day. In fact, this simply indicates that the person is genuinely sincere about doing it.

Suppose that you owe somebody five million liras and imagine that you have fifty thousand liras in your hand now. If you pay this sum towards your debt, this indicates that you are always ready to pay your debt since you have shown your effort and sincerity with this act. But if you spend all the money you have in your possession for your own pleasure instead of making a little payment to settle your debt, then your sincerity can never be trusted and therefore that person will never believe in your seriousness. He will always know you as a liar, a person with a double faced character.

Well, if that's the case...

If a person cannot perform daily prayers five times a day, it is essential to at least do it twice or once a day as a minimum requirement. By doing so, he proves that he has total faith in what he does.

Even if he cannot allocate time for himself during the day, it is obvious that whenever he gets up in the morning, he will wash his hands and his face anyway. If he could also wash his feet, then he would perform the ablution. After this, he can perform his morning prayer, which consists of only two units, and if he cannot not perform this at five or six o'clock in the morning, he can certainly do it after he wakes up in the morning. So, this is a convenience that is also offered.

After all, it is only a morning prayer consisting of two units. If you perform this prayer by reciting the verses of 'Al-Hamdu' and 'QulHuwallah' respectively from the Koran, then the whole process of praying takes only about two minutes. Of course, it does not seem appropriate for a person to argue that he has not even got two minutes. Every person can spend two minutes and hence allocate time for a daily prayer.

Even if we cannot do anything, let us at least perform the morning prayer, which is only two units in length so that we can say to ourselves, 'Well, I can only do this much!' During this two unit prayer which lasts only about two minutes, let us recite all those holy words we have mentioned before so that we can store the meaning of these words into our brain and consciousness at least. So, by grasping the meaning of these words in full, we will be able to manifest these qualities through ourselves more strongly when the time comes in the future.

If only..

IF ONLY..

From Fathers home-

I came encased in silk and décor

And with me came all that you commanded

And more...

Hoarded together and brought to your door-

Much ahead of the palanquin that bore me

Awaiting welcome from the insatiable thee.

Greedy eyed, you examined the harbinger

If Only, you had the same greed for me!

It took you not much time,

To confine me within, your wife!

To chain my heart

To tangle myself

Did you promise me a good life?

Seeing the world dancing around me

My world seemed an unfilled blow

Just when you planted in me

My life became glee!

I only thought so!

Carting inside was Your little heir in my fatigued, voided womb

Under merciless wilt

But blessed by The Almighty’s Tomb

And then he came..

My little one..

I watched in silenced anguish

The joy overshadowed by reservations

The cry unheard,

The smile ignored

Inhibitions

And when I Rose...

All I was...

Punished appropriately for the Love unconditional

Punished appropriately for the years I served

Punished for I could not give you more

More and more and so much more

For no more gifts were left to be sent from my father’s home

“Will you stand by me?” Said I

“For All the Times I have“

Walked Away you! With a Closed Eye!

If only you knew,

If only you held

My hand,

If Only you loved my soul

If Only you made it easy,

I would have been one.

Now, you deserve naught –none!

For here I Lie,

With a wound so deep

A scar far-healed

But with my little ones hand in his sleep.

I whisper in his ear –

Together we will make it through

Unlearn all that passed

Yes! Through all!! White and Blue!

I fear Allah!

Beware of the dua (prayer) of the one who has been wronged and the tears of the one who has been deprived.